Revelation Regurgitation

Yesterday, I posted a blog explaining spiritual spit-up.

Today, I would like to give an example of what exactly this grotesque practice looks like.

Make sure you are either sitting down or standing up for this because it could get ugly.

I once was an angry preacher preaching an angry sermon...

I set up three folding chairs in order to illustrate three types of people like so:


Chair 1: The Pagan (far left)


The pagan does not care about God at all. He is an immoral fiend who votes democrat (I was angry and stupid). I spent several minutes lambasting the evil man chair 1 represented, quoting scripture in his or her general direction. I did this because the best way to convince a Pagan that God loves him is to angrily quote scripture against him during a sermon that he will never hear.

Chair 3: The Christian (far right)


The holiest chair. It might have well have been one of those tiny pews that are placed on the stage for the preacher. It was a holy seat. It belongs to the Christian who does all the things that God wants him to do (i.e. go to church, go to church, and seek out the poor to make them feel guilty for not going to church). As you might have guessed, I did not spend much time on this chair because it did not make me very angry.

Chair 2: The lukewarm "Christian"


This was the worst chair, and I had proof. Revelation 3 told me so. In Revelation 3, Jesus tells the Church in Laodicea.
I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So because you are luke warm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 

I went on to say that God would rather us be in Chair 3 or Chair 1, but when we live in Chair 2, we make Him sick.

This was a powerful message, and I was DEAD WRONG!!

I was wrong because I did not put any study into this sermon. I did not ask questions of the text.

I simply regurgitated what I had always heard. I took the path of least resistance. If I would have only asked questions of the text, then I would have come to a conclusion that preached.

It turns out that Laodicea had piped in some hot, healing waters from a nearby town, but by the time it arrived to their city, it was only luke warm. So it did not heal and was not good enough to drink.

The Laodicians had piped in worthless water.

It was not hot, so it did not heal.

It was not cold, so it did not refresh.

Jesus' problem with the Laodicean was that they were worthless. They probably only hid in their building and griped about the people who had not joined them.

That will preach.