Beating Elmo with a Bat

My daughter loves Elmo.

She loves Elmo so much that if you are reading this blog aloud within two miles of our house, you need to spell E-L-M-O's name just so you will not have to listen to his CD.

She has emotionally connected with Elmo, running to the t.v. to help whenever Elmo cannot shut his crayon created door because a friendly tornado is telling him about when it is safe to play outside (fyi: It is not ok to fly a kite in a tornado).

She gets sad when Elmo is sad.

She is excited whenever Elmo is excited.

She loves Elmo.

This is why I will never buy her an Elmo piñata.

It sounds like a good idea, but it is not. Trust me.

It sounds fun because it has all the elements of a good time - Elmo replica, candy, baseball bat, blindfold. Individually, every item of the Elmo piñata experience is a blast, but when combined, they form a nasty cocktail that will damage the emotions of any child.

Let's say this out loud together:

"Hey sweetheart! You are such a sweet two year old that Elmo will be at your birthday party! Upon his arrival, we will hang him from the ceiling, beat him with a bat until he busts open, and once his insides spill onto the floor, we will all cheer merrily and eat them."

I am no child psychologist but this has to be damaging. No child should have to watch their favorite person be mistreated. That is parenting 101.

Let's say something else out loud together:

"Hey wife/husband, I love you so much. You are my favorite person. I married you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But for some reason I will be nicer, more patient, and friendlier to complete strangers than you. I will smile when I talk to the waitress or the gas station attendant but I will rarely give you such a courtesy."

It sounds crazy when we say it aloud but it is how many of us act.

We have made piñatas out of the people we love most and we are willing to do anything to them as long as it benefits us.

I am no child psychologist but this has to be damaging. No child should have to watch their favorite person be mistreated. That is parenting 101.