They Glow For Hours

My brother called me the other day with some news: He had just seen something funny on the bathroom wall while he was in the mall.

It wasn't anything vulgar, just odd.

Hanging on the wall was a large rectangular dispenser named Conference Center. It dispensed such things as soap, deodorant, hand sanitizer, and cologne.

This is all for the convenience of those who forgot their toiletries and then decided that instead of going to Target or a CVS to replace their missing toothbrush, they would try their luck with the bathroom at the local mall. 

Luckily for these goofs, enough people had complained about the lack of a toothbrush dispenser in the restrooms to the mall’s security guard that mall personnel got cracking and created the Conference Center. 

Because of the Conference Center, those who are attending conferences can now find the following items in the men’s restroom:

Hand Sanitizer

This is for all who wish to have their hands clean, but would rather still have gunk on their hands. Every time I put on hand sanitizer, I say, “Wow! My hands sure are clean and sticky!” 

A Toothbrush

4 out of 5 dentists agree that the fifth dentist is a stuck up jerk and that you should never brush your teeth with something you bought in a bathroom. It’s in the constitution, look it up. Also, my dentist told me that you should floss more.

Deodorant

This would be the worst product to be caught buying. Can you imagine pulling your deodorant (“for those who wish to smell mall-bathroom fresh”) out of the Conference Center just as some stranger walks into the restroom. I have played this scenario over in my head several times, and it always ends with me sheepishly saying, “I’m sweaty.” 

Cologne

The cologne is for the teenager who jumped in the car, drove to the mall, and realized that he did not smell strongly enough. Luckily for this forgetful fellow, a mere $82 can purchase him enough sprits from the Conference Center to replicate the strength of smell to which most teenagers are accustomed (I gathered the earlier dollar amount from observing that teenage boys wear cologne for two reasons: they would like to attract ladies and they would like to be able to kill a yeti with their scent if needed).

and the final necessity found in the Conference Center...

Glow Sticks

That’s right, glow sticks. Sticks that glow. For the conference attendee who does not want to be embarrassed when, after the keynote address, the black lights come out. The tag line for these particular glow sticks said, “Break ‘em and they will glow for hours.” This is an awesome tag line since it clears up what exactly a glow stick does, and promises conference attendees several hours of dimly lit, neon fun. 

The glow stick must feel so out of place in the Conference Center. While all the other products promote personal hygiene, the glow stick is simply for hours of fun. It simply does not fit in. I am sure that it has tried to make conversation with the hand sanitizer about irritating tiny cuts on the hands, but that probably didn’t go over very well. 

As stupid as this sounds, Christians are the glow sticks. 

We are the out of place ones. 

Our purposes and our goals are not like the world’s. 

We are called out. Called out of the norm. Called out of the common. 

We are called not to participate in the drama that is popular among cheerleaders and their parents. 

We are called not to indulge in lust, gluttony and greed. 

We are called to love those who are hardest to love. 

We are called to be different, to stand out. 

We are called to have a patience that is unexplainable, a joy that overwhelms, and a love that endures forever. 

We are the glow sticks (how's that for a Christian bumper sticker)